The Accidental Werewolf 2: Something About Harry (Accidentally Paranormal Novel) Read online

  Nina smacked her lips in understanding. “So you’re hot for this dude.”

  “So unbelievably hot.”

  “And he knows?”

  “No. And if you tell him . . .” She’d what?

  “You’ll what?”

  “Use really big words when I squeak my protests shortly before dying of humiliation?”

  Nina draped an arm around Mara’s shoulders, pulling her close. Mara let her head rest just above the vampire’s armpit. “We’re doing a girlfriend thing here, aren’t we, Short-Shot? You know how I feel about that shit. It’s enough with Wanda and Marty and their bullshit girl-talk. I’m not sure I want to add another chick to my ‘don’t rat a bitch out’ list.”

  “Please?”

  “Do you know what happened to Harry, and does it have anything to do with you?” Nina pressed.

  Oh, God. “Like did I, with malice, turn him into a werewolf?” Nice subterfuge, Mara.

  Nina’s eyebrow rose as did her level of suspicion, Mara was sure. “Patience. I got like twelve point two seconds left of it. Like with anything. Do you know how he was turned, or did you have something to do with him turning into a fucking werewolf?”

  “What would make you ask me that? Me. Quiet, geeky lab rat?”

  “Because you’re a quiet, geeky lab rat.”

  Mara did her best imitation of a scoff. “That you would even consider such a thing.”

  “Makes me?”

  “Mean and scary?”

  “And in-fucking-tuitive?”

  She slapped her hands on her thighs in exasperation. “Oh, my God, Nina! What is it with you lately? It’s like you’re everywhere these days. Quit rooting around in my conscience or whatever you do. Just knock it off. It’s spooky.”

  “It’s called fine-tuning my vampire superpowers. It helps. Like now, when I can tell some shit’s gone down that involves you and your wicken-schtick. I just don’t know how the two add up—yet.”

  “My wicken-schtick? That’s not even a word, Nina.”

  Nina twisted a loose strand of Mara’s hair around her forefinger and tugged her head downward, forcing Mara’s eyes upward to meet hers. “It’s your lady-garden, and you’re stalling.”

  Mara was astounded at just how fine-tuned Nina’s emotion readings had become. She lifted her chin, tightening the hold Nina had on her hair, making her eyes wide and her expression vulnerable. She was hoping for the “Thumper” look. “You can read my wicken-schtick? I feel violated.”

  “You wanna feel beat the fuck up?”

  “No. But thank you.”

  She released her hold on Mara, setting her upright. “I can sense that your lady parts are involved in this, in that Harry makes your libido turn to mush. Your blood was pumping a mile o’ fucking minute, and your heart might’a pushed its way outta your chest given another couple of seconds. And that scream? That whiny shit wasn’t from a chick who’s detached and hardly knows the guy. It was one of those, ‘please don’t mess up his pretty hair or pop his perfect nose off his face.’”

  “You think his nose is perfect?” Mara rather thought it was just a little hooked to the right, which only made her want him more.

  “I think something really bad’s gonna happen to you.”

  “I don’t like bad things.”

  Nina leered at her, flashing her fangs. “I do.”

  “What a relief. Somebody has to like them. We couldn’t have the bad things left unloved. It would leave an imbalance of far too much good.”

  Nina planted her hands on Mara’s shoulders, clamping them with warning fingers. “Quit dickin’ around.”

  Oh, there was going to be hell to pay now. No one in her pack was ever going to let her forget this once word got around. In fact, she could be prosecuted by the council. If only her excitement hadn’t overruled filling her supply bin.

  Mara put her cheek to Nina’s cool hand and closed her eyes. “We’re friends, right? We have nothing in common, that’s true, but I’d like to think that because I’m related to your best friend, you’d take a hit for me—back me up, so to speak.” Caressing Nina’s cool skin with her very hot cheek, she smiled up at her while she toyed with the strings to Nina’s hoodie, tying them in a neat bow, giving the strings a pat.

  “Why are you throwin’ shade, Mara? Just say it, for the love of.”

  How do you just say ‘I made a werewolf baby potion because no one else seems to want to have babies with me but myself’? How?

  “One last chance. I’ll ask again. This happened how, Mara?” Nina prodded, picking Mara’s cheek off her hand to jam her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie.

  Wanda and Marty’s heads popped up in simultaneous acts of curiosity.

  Marty sent a question to Nina and Mara with nothing but her eyes. They all knew each other that well after five years of friendship.

  Mara pulled out the pencil holding her hair up and brought it directly to her mouth to have something to nervous-chew. “You’ll never believe it.”

  “Mara Flaherty, did you just use those words in front of us? Us?” Wanda squealed. She tucked the lab coat under Harry’s square jaw and gave his shoulder a pat before climbing over the debris left from the debacle of his first werewolf shift.

  Marty followed, her silver bracelets clinking together in jarring fashion, her boots clacking against the toppled steel lab chairs. She gazed at Nina expectantly. “Up to speed, please.”

  Nina tilted her head in Mara’s direction. “Talk to werewolf junior here.”

  Three beautiful women, on a sliding scale of ghetto/military chic to Audrey Hepburn classic, waited.

  She took a shuddering breath before she began. “So before any of you say anything, before you judge, before I rationalize, let me just give you the basics. I wanted to have a baby. No one seems to want to mate with me. That hurts. It hurts when a single pack member isn’t interested in you—even after you’ve watched your sister-in-law turn on the charm and woo everyone from here to Albany just because she smiled, then try to do the same thing, and experience epic failure. And yes, Marty, I’m looking at you.”

  Marty’s brow furrowed, but her eyes held a flash of hurt. “So what happened to Harry is my fault?”

  Her stomach churned. No. She loved Marty—even if she wanted to be a little more like her, and the way she’d gone about that was to spew her envy in an unfavorable fashion. “No. I love you. I’m just telling you what led me to this place. It isn’t just you, it’s everyone like you. Women who flirt with ease.”

  Marty pursed her lips. “I’m a married woman. I absolutely no longer flirt.”

  Mara shook her finger. “You always respect your boundaries, and I know you love Keegan. What I mean is you have a charisma, a way of sucking people into your vortex without even trying. You do it all the time. With everyone. Not just men, but women, children. You could run a cult. Women like you should bottle that kind of charm for women like me.”

  “I’m not sure if I feel complimented or insulted, Mara.”

  Mara sighed. Saying this out loud for the first time just didn’t sound like it had in her head. “It’s a compliment. A huge one. Here’s what I mean. I’m dreadful at playing the vixen. I couldn’t seduce a fifth-grader out of some Chiclets. I’m just not sexy enough. I don’t have that ‘it’ factor. I don’t have any factors. I’m also not getting any younger.”

  “What does this have to do with what happened to Harry?” Wanda asked, her face riddled with her confusion.

  Mara’s voice grew husky, her eyes straying back to the floor. “Just listen. Anyway, after discovering I was probably always going to be single, I watched a lot of TV about single women, lesbian couples, and so on. People just like me who wanted children, but didn’t necessarily have a partner or a vagina to achieve it. Documentary style, of course. And I decided I didn’t need a baby daddy, but it
’s not like they have paranormal sperm banks just waiting to offer up good DNA. I knew it would be hard enough to have a baby alone, because the pack frowns on that without mates, and you all know they encourage us to keep the lines of the breed strong.”

  Wanda cocked her head at Mara. “They do have your average, everyday sperm banks, Mara. Did you skip that documentary on Netflix?”

  Mara nodded, holding up a hand. “I know that, too. But who really knows how well the sperm donor is screened, Wanda? Did anyone know Charlie Manson was Charlie Manson until he was Charlie Manson? Also, how do we know a human’s sperm and my eggs would gel? I know we have Marty as an example, but she was already turned when she and Keegan conceived. Plus, you hear all sorts of stories about men looking for their babies because they regretted donating sperm and want to see their creation. How would that work if the guy showed up at my door? Do I just say, ‘Surprise! The sperm you donated made a nice little bundle of werewolf joy. Thanks for the swimmers, dude!’”

  Silence. Lots of disapproving silence.

  There was nothing left to do but plow ahead. Mara twisted her hands together, her chest tight. “So I decided I’d make the baby daddy myself. All I did was concoct a potion that would get me pregnant. That’s it. Swear.”

  “Of course. You made baby juice. That’s it. Swear,” Wanda mimicked Mara’s minimalistic take on her baby-making. “Argh, Mara! Do you have any idea how serious this is?”

  Nina shook her head, her usually full lips thinned. She held up her hand to thwart Wanda’s oncoming tirade. “So Harry drank your sperm smoothie?”

  Mara blanched. “Yes. I’d put it in a vitaminwater bottle, fully intending to take it home and you know—”

  “Break out Helga’s turkey baster?” Marty asked sweetly, finally speaking.

  Mara grew defensive. “I would have bought her a new one.”

  “Comforting, I’m sure,” Marty groused. “Do you have any idea, aside from Harry, the million things that could have gone wrong with this plan? How many screws are loose up in that genius brain of yours? And before you say it, I totally get your desire to have babies. I don’t know what I did before Hollis and Nina’s Charlie. But if you’d come to me, it would have saved an innocent man’s life, Mara!”

  Wanda straightened and buttoned Mara’s lab coat with motherly hands, smoothing it over her shoulders. “It’s bad enough to hurt yourself, but an innocent? I think the pack’s going to be far more inclined to punish you for that. You know what happens when we turn without provocation.”

  Remorse streaked her eyes, fear steeped her belly. “I do. There’s fire and a ritual and sometimes a full moon trial. So here.” She held out her hands. “Put the cuffs on me and take me to the council.”

  Nina slapped at her hands. “We’re not gonna rat you out. We ain’t no snitches. But we gotta figure out a way to help Harry adjust so he keeps right on working here like nothing happened, if we hope to keep this fuck-uppery out of the council’s hands.”

  Wanda shook her head in an absolute fashion. “How are we going to do that? He’ll smell like a werewolf. The others will know instantly!”

  Right. Good noses. The lot of ’em. She was sunk now.

  “Forget that right now,” Marty added. “First and foremost, we need Harry’s cooperation.”

  Nina’s finger flew up in the air. “Exactly! It’s also contingent upon Harry. Maybe he’s a snitch, ’cus Christ knows he uses a lot of big words and comes across as a real rule follower. What if he wants to see the council and rat on you? The bits I got from reading him over the phone was this dude likes control and order.”

  “And you just brought chaos and disorder,” Wanda moaned.

  Mara blew out a breath of pent up air. “Then I’ll just go to werewolf jail.” She could do jail. As long as they let her have some chemistry books and some toilet paper, she’d survive. It wasn’t like she had a social life she’d miss, other than lunch with her likeminded friends during work hours, and the occasional girls’ night out at Subway where they brainstormed, of all things, ways to infuse antioxidants with moisturizer.

  Nina rolled her eyes, thumping her on the shoulder with the heel of her hand. “We’re not going to let your brainy ass go to werewolf jail. We’ll convince him—or he dies. He has choices. They’re just limited.”

  “I can’t die. I have children to care for.”

  Four heads turned Harry’s way. He’d managed to inch his way up the wall, using the lab coat Wanda had placed over his naked length to keep himself covered.

  Mara’s first thought was, how much had he heard? Her second? Wow. He looked rough and pale and, damn it all, still adorable. No one should be this adorable when they’d just had their body turned inside out. His dark eyes, dreamy and fringed heavily with thick lashes, scanned the four women. She couldn’t place what that assessment meant, but his wheels were turning.

  Then Mara cocked her head after processing his words. “Children?” As far as she knew, he was single, although that could explain why he’d rebuffed her lame advances. If he had a significant other, that would almost make her feel better.

  “My sister’s children. She . . . died,” he murmured the words from lips that were bloodied from slamming into the wall. He used a thumb to swipe at the corner of his mouth. “About a year ago. They have no one else. So if you’re the Nina I was on the phone with, while I was ultra respectful of your feministic overreactions and threats of brutality, when it comes to my niece and nephew, I’m just warning you, I’ll fight back—because they need me right now. So back off.”

  Mara’s heart melted. Right there in her chest, but she couldn’t speak. Couldn’t apologize for what he’d go through. Couldn’t apologize for her part in this. Couldn’t anything. Period.

  Nina held a hand out to him. Mara had to give him credit. Harry didn’t balk. He didn’t turn his nose up at it. He didn’t cringe. Harry considered. She watched him weigh his options in his mind by applying logistics and common sense to the overall situation. Just like she would have if the tables were turned.

  “I’m the feminist overreactor aka Nina. Nobody’s gonna hurt you, Mr. IQ. We’re here to help.”

  Clearly, Harry decided Nina wouldn’t pass off the plague to him. He put his large hand in her smaller one and let her yank him up. The raw, open wounds on his arms and shoulder from the thrashing he’d been subjected to with his first shift made her wince. Thankfully, he’d heal quickly.

  As he swung upward, the sheet parted behind him, showcasing his ass. Damn. She’d known his ass would be one of the best parts about him for all those lunges he did. Mara closed her eyes and swallowed. Not the time to be thinking about Harry’s body parts.

  “So, Harry,” Nina said, giving his hand a hearty shake before dropping it and crossing her arms over her chest. “Guess you weren’t lyin’. You really are a werewolf.”

  Harry’s broad chest rose and fell before he replied, “So, Nina, ya think?”

  “Was that more cocky I heard in your tone, pal?”

  Harry shook his head, dark with thick hair, and covered in drywall. “This time, I’m afraid so.”

  Nina slapped him on the back. “I’ll let you have it for now because, dude, your life’s gonna suck for a little while, but don’t get comfortable, amigo. Got that shit?”

  Harry nodded, assessing, calculating, thinking. “Shit got.”

  “Good,” Nina responded. “So now we get into the crazy of what just happened. Hold on.” She paused, rooting around in her hoodie’s front pocket, and pulling out an OOPS pamphlet. “Read this. We’ll wait while you do.” She shoved the rectangle under his nose.

  “Nina!” Wanda chastised, snatching the pamphlet midair before Harry was able to grasp it. “This is not how we do things at OOPS. Go. Sit in your corner and shut it. Please.” Wanda shot a finger in the direction of what was left of the other portion of the room.


  “I’m streamlining, for Christ’s sake, Wanda. Jesus. We spend too much damn time explaining what happened to the client. That pamphlet does it for us. Less talk, less balk,” she shot back, but wandered off to the other section of the room anyway, leaning against an annihilated countertop.

  Brushing at her jacket, Wanda put on her you’ve-got-big-trouble-but-we’re-here-to-help face and smiled at Harry. She stuck out her hand, her simple wedding band gleaming under the fluorescent lights. “I’m Wanda Schwartz-Jefferson—”

  Harry’s hand shot up, stopping Wanda mid-introduction. His jaw, usually on the hard side, now like granite. He hiked the sheet tighter around his chest, his fist clenched, knuckles white.

  When he spoke, it was as though he had to push the words from his lips. “I heard all about your vampires and genies and werewolves and whatever you did to me while I played unconscious. Or rather, what she claims she did to me.” He hitched his jaw at Mara.

  Mara opened her mouth to protest, but slammed it shut when she saw the disdain on his face. Oh, Harry was angry. She was fascinated and appalled. She’d never seen him anything other than affable and pleasant.

  Harry, delicious and just a sheet away from naked, held up another finger to ensure no one would interrupt. “Scratch that. I know what was done to me. I felt it. Fought it like I was fighting the idea that some don’t believe man evolved from apes, but the truth is the truth. I know what I just experienced. I don’t necessarily understand it, but I just lived through it. You don’t have to convince me of what’s happened to me. I heard it all. I even saw some of it. I saw things I can’t unsee—if that’s even a word.”

  Mara shook her head. “Not a word.”

  Harry glared at her, leaving her feeling exposed and above all, stupid. “Unhelpful. That is a word.”

  “Sorry,” she muttered, looking down at her feet. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I was just—”

  “Baby-making,” he all but accused in Mara’s direction, the veins in his neck popping out with the strain of what she expected was the enormous effort to keep his composure. “I heard that, too. I’m done hearing.”